Still Alive

Hey everybody. So I realized it's been way too long since I've posted. I can't believe how much
my life seems to have changed in the last couple of months. For those who don't know, I am
pregnant. My due date is April 9. This pregnancy has been such a new experience for me. You'd
think after 2 pregnancies I'd know what to expect, but I haven't! With the other 2 pregnancies I
was really sick and throwing up into my 3rd trimester. I lost quite a bit of weight and survived
on potatoes and dry cereal. Well, this time my morning sickness started a little late and I've
hardly thrown up. At this point it's only been 6 times. I've been able to eat whatever which
leads to me gaining weight instead of losing it! I've actually been able to take care of my family
a little better too! I would be nauseous in the mornings and late evenings, but could still get
things done. I have been a lot more tired and uncomfortable with this one though. I also feel
huge! At 6 weeks I needed stretchy pants and announced at 11 weeks because I couldn't pretend
to hide it any longer! I guess I mainly just wanted to explain getting fat! My morning sickness
only lasted into week 16 this time! So that's been great!

This pregnancy has provided me with lots of anxiety and decisions though. Due to long hard
recoveries with the others we had some decisions to make this time. I've decided to go natural
for this one. So then we needed to decide who to deliver with - hospital, doctor, midwife,
birthing suite, doula, or at home. Well, I finally decided we're going with a midwife. I'll be
delivering at her "birthing suite". It's kind of like a home birth, just not our home. I'll be able to
come home hopefully just hours after the baby is born. I guess all this is assuming that things
continue to go the way they're supposed to!

My second decision still hasn't been made! We're trying to decide whether to find out what
we're having. I need to schedule the ultrasound the week of Thanksgiving. So I have until then
to decide. I really have a hard time making decisions normally, but being pregnant has just
made it all that much harder. We found out with our others so this would be something new,
but I'm not sure I want to wait! Dave would rather not find out but he's leaving it up to me. I
can't believe that by the time this baby comes my kids will be 9 and 7. Starting over again is
almost scary enough! But I'll keep everybody posted on my decision!

I've had many people ask me why now. It's been so long since we've had kids and had been
doing foster care for over 3 years. I kind of want to share for myself and for those that want to
know. Over 4 years ago we moved to Provo. When we were making the drive back and forth
between SL and Provo I remember mentioning to Dave that I might be ready for another one.
Jonas was 2 1/2 at that point. Well, he told me that he'd been thinking a lot about trying foster
care. We already had 1 of each and he felt we could do more by helping others. Needless to say
that hadn't been a part of my plan! I was supposed to have 4 kids and be done before I was 30.
So I told him I'd do the classes and we'd discuss it. Before I knew it we were licensed and
getting a phone call to take a child. But before we did that we had to get health physicals. Doing
all that we found out that I have a herniated disc in my lower back. I needed physical therapy
for a couple of months. It was mostly like caused during my pregnancies. But we wouldn't have
found it out at that point if it wasn't for doing foster care. I remember praying for months
about foster care. But after that I knew why we needed to do it. After each one Dave and I
would discuss if we should keep going with foster care. We never really got an answer. Last
year my doctor told me that if we were going to have more kids I needed to make a decision
soon. I shouldn't wait too much time. So since last fall I'd been praying, fasting, and trying to
figure out what was in store for our family. Finally in June after girls camp I told Dave we
needed to make the decision. After tears and realizing how much easier it would be to just keep
doing foster care we had our answer to have another one of our own. So 2 days later I was at
the doctor to get my IUD out after 5 years. 4 weeks later and 2 pregnancy tests we found out we
were expecting. Now here I am at 31 and starting all over again. Not where I expected to be at
this point in my life, but it's what the Lord has planned. So here we go! Didn't mean to make
this too personal or long, but I guess I just wanted to say it and update people.

I just wanted to say thanks to so many people who have helped me so far with this pregnancy. I
haven't been the most cheerful or helpful. But there have been so many who've been such a big
support and help! Thank you! I love ya all!